


Begin Again

by Tenshinrtaiga



Category: 7th Heaven, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-04-05 11:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4178562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenshinrtaiga/pseuds/Tenshinrtaiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruthie gets invited to a prestigious English boarding school and, in the wake of Sandy's pregnancy, decides to go. Three years later, a very different Ruthie Camden returns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ruthie didn’t know if this was the best thing that had ever happened to her, or the worst.

At the very least, the timing was…

The small girl gave a sigh. She wasn’t sure whether the timing was a good thing or a bad thing either. She could say one thing though: her life just got so much more complicated.

“Ruthie?” her older sister Lucy called out, making her way to the backyard. “Hey,” she said softly, noticing the way Ruthie was splayed out on the back porch, watching the sky. “Are you okay?”

Everyone kept asking her that lately. Was she okay? Was she alright? How was she feeling? Did she need anything? They were treating her like something fragile; like something broken.

Okay, yes. Her heart was broken. Beyond broken, if she was honest about it. Martin had essentially ripped her heart out, stomped on it, and ran over it with his truck for good measure.

Ruthie shook her head. No. She wasn’t going to let herself go down that road. She would smile at Martin and Sandy and be polite. She would ask questions about the baby (their baby) and pretend nothing was wrong.

She gave another sigh. Or maybe she would just leave and pretend that neither of them existed.

“Ruthie?” Lucy asked again, softly.

The petite brunette blinked. She had forgotten that her sister was even there.

“Sorry, what?” Ruthie asked, lifting her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun as she looked up at her sister.

”Oh, Ruthie.” Lucy sighed and sat down next to the girl. “I know it’s hard now, but… It will get better, I promise. The pain you feel now will become an ache and then one day you’ll wake up and realize that that ache is gone. You’ll find someone new to love and to love you back.”

Ruthie blinked back the small well of tears she suddenly felt behind her eyes, but she pasted on a smile instead. “I wasn’t actually thinking about Martin, you know. I do think about other things besides him and Sandy and the baby.”

The blonde gave her a skeptical look, but nodded agreeably, pretending to believe her. “Okay, sorry then. What were you thinking about?”

The younger girl nibbled on her lower lip in contemplation. What did she want to say? How much _could_ she say? These last few days had been… a trip, to put it mildly. She knew she didn’t have much of a choice; she knew what she had to do. But she didn’t know what she _wanted_ to do. And maybe that didn’t matter. Maybe she needed to stop thinking about her ‘what ifs’. She had something now, something she had never had before. A purpose, a destiny. A Calling.

This was what fate had set out for her. What God had willed for her.

And maybe what had happened with Martin had happened for a reason. Maybe his path had diverged from hers so that she would do what needed to be done. So that she could walk her path and never look back.

Because once she did this… She could never look back.

“I applied to a school program a couple of months ago,” Ruthie admitted after several long minutes of contemplation. Lucy startled as she had stopped expecting an answer after her sister’s long silence. “I didn’t honestly think I would get in, but I didn’t think it would hurt to try. But I did. Get in, I mean.”

“What?” Lucy asked in surprise before her face split into a wide grin. “That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you!” She leaned over and gave her sister a huge hug. Ruthie deserved some happy news after experiencing so much misery.

“Don’t be too happy yet,” Ruthie cautioned, her arms going up to gently pry away her sister’s grip. “The program is in London.”

Lucy froze, eyes wide and startled. “What?”

Ruthie shrugged, turning her face so that she wouldn’t have to look Lucy in the eyes. “Yeah. It’s… it’s… Well, to be honest, it’s more that a school program. I would be transferring schools. It’s a top boarding school in the world and I, I got a full ride.”

Lucy didn’t know how she felt. She was excited for her sister, for this opportunity. But at the same time… London was far away. Away from Ruthie’s family and friends and support group. That would be hard enough on a fifteen year old, but on top of Martin and his drama? Did Ruthie really feel it was a good idea to just up and leave like this?

Lucy nibbled on her lower lip. This felt like running away.

“Are you sure this is something you want?” she asked hesitantly.

“I think that this is an amazing opportunity,” Ruthie replied with a shrug, still avoiding her sister’s glance. “Their graduates go on to the best universities and professions in the world.”

“But is it something _you want?_ ” the blonde pressed.

Ruthie gave a small sigh, lifting her knees to lock her arms around them. “I don’t know. Yes. And no,” she confessed quietly. “It really is an amazing opportunity. I would be living in London and they highly encourage volunteering abroad during our breaks. Like borderline mandatory. So I would be traveling and learning and _helping people._ ”

“Wow,” Lucy said, impressed. “That sounds… really impressive.”

Ruthie shrugged. “But it would also mean that I probably wouldn’t be able to visit home. Unless you come to visit me, I won’t be able to come back until I’ve graduated.”

“What?” Lucy cried out in shock. “Not at all?”

Ruthie shrugged again, hunching in on herself. “Well, I _could_ , but…”

“But you don’t want to?” Lucy inferred, her voice sounding hurt. “You don’t want to come home… because of Martin?”

“No!” Ruthie replied, turning her head to look at the other woman for the first time. “At least, not really.” She gave a sigh. “I won’t lie; the opportunity to get away from Martin is… really appealing right now. But that has nothing to do with it. One day, I’ll be over him, like you said.” _I hope._ “But… I’m going to be going to an amazing school doing amazing things. I will only have a couple of years there. Shouldn’t I make the most of it? Shouldn’t I take every opportunity given to me to go out and help others?”

Lucy took a moment to contemplate that. As a sister, she hated the idea of not seeing her baby sister again for three years. As a pastor, she understood what her sister was saying. “You have been given a gift,” she admitted. “It is up to you to make the most of this blessing,” she said with a small sigh. It was official. She had given in. Once again, Ruthie Camden proved that she had the whole world wrapped around her little finger.

Ruthie gave her a wide smile in return, reaching over to hug her sister. Lucy blinked, startled, even as her own arms came up to hug back. Lucy hadn’t realized how long it had been since she’d seen her sister smile.

“Does this mean you’ll be helping me tell mom and dad?” Ruthie asked, her tone full of faux innocence.

“Oh God!” Lucy muttered, eyes wide in dread.  
~  
“So, let me get this straight. You _want_ our youngest daughter to fly halfway around the world to go to a school in another country with strangers, all because of a broken heart?” Annie asked, her tone telling her husband exactly what she thought of this idea.

Eric gave his wife a light reprimanding look. “First off, you know that what Ruthie is experiencing is more that just ‘a broken heart’. Second, look at this objectively. Our daughter, our beautiful, amazing, intelligent daughter, got into a prestigious international boarding school that feeds into the best universities and companies in the world. Have you seen this list?” He held up a thin glossy book with a picture of London on the cover. “Harvard, Yale, Oxford, Doctors Without Borders, the Red Cross, Congress, the EU, Parliament. They have graduates everywhere, around the world. I always knew our daughter could do anything, but at this school, Annie, she could really do _anything._ No door would remain closed to her. Don’t you want that for her?”

Annie gave a sigh. “Of course I do, Eric. But now? When she just found out about Martin and Sandy?”

“Maybe that’s the point,” Lucy interjected, startling her parents. They had gotten so worked up that they had completely forgotten that their daughters were still in the room. “Maybe God gave Ruthie this opportunity now _because_ of Martin and Sandy.”

Ruthie gave a sigh when all eyes turned to her. “I… I can admit that the idea of leaving, of not having to _see-_ “ She halted to a stop, her throat closing up slightly as her mind started going places she didn’t want it to go. She took a deep breath, suppressing her emotions. “It’s a fresh start. I think I could use one of those right now.”

Annie and Eric shared a look. This wasn’t an uncommon request from their children. Matt at medical school, Mary on the other side of the country, Simon at university. Lucy was the only one who never wanted a fresh start, but her dependence on her family was a different problem all together.

Annie gave a small sigh. She could already feel herself giving in. She walked over to Ruthie and gently grabbed her by the hand, walking her over to sit on the edge of the bed with her. “Are you sure that this is what you want?” she asked softly, needing to be certain that this is what was best for her daughter; that this is what she wanted.

Ruthie hesitated, thinking things through, wanting to give the right answer. She had talked to the school representative several days ago and she had assured Ruthie that, while sooner was better, the girls that go to their school often took a bit of time to get things in order and say goodbye before attending, some even waiting until the next convenient place to transfer like at the end of a semester. Ruthie was in the middle of her school year. Technically she had permission to finish up the year before attending her sophomore year in London. But she didn’t want to. Because that meant several more agonizing months of watching Martin and Sandy and Ruthie would much rather be _doing something_ than _thinking_ right now.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she stated firmly. “This is what I want.”

Annie exchanged a look with Eric before giving a resigned sigh and smiling at her youngest girl. “Alright. When can we meet this school representative?”  
~  
“TSA is a world renowned academy for girls. We take the exceptional from all across the globe and we train and hone them into the best possible version of themselves. We teach them history, religion, science, languages and more. We require fluency in three languages, two in addition to your native tongue, but the girls often learn more out of necessity. The classes will be diverse because our girls are diverse. Ruthie’s lab partner may only speak Chinese and the two will need to figure out how to communicate themselves. We won’t help them. In the real world, there are a million different languages and cultures and your daughter will begin to learn how to navigate through this kind of confusion early. We want our girls to excel no matter where life takes them. TSA also focuses heavily on the body. In America, the school system typically requires one ‘gym’ credit a day. At TSA, she will be taking, at minimum, three. Level 1 easy, 2 medium, 3 hard.”

“What does that mean?” Kevin asked, raising his hand slightly as if he was still in school. He, Lucy, Eric, Annie and of course Ruthie were the only ones to know about Ruthie’s plan and thus were the only ones at home to meet the school representative, a perky redhead in her mid-twenties.

“An example of a Level 1 class would be yoga or meditation. Level 3 would be kickboxing or some other martial art. 2 would be something in the middle like biking or power walking.”

“Meditation counts as gym?” Lucy asked skeptically.

“Meditation is about realignment and concentration; both mind and body. It can be very refreshing for the body and the ability to stay still and control your breathing and your posture can be very difficult. So, yes, we count that as a gym credit, along with other techniques similarly aligned, such as yoga or tai chi.”

“And this is something they do every day?” Annie asked, unsure if she was happy for so much physical activity or worried about the extra strain.

“We certainly encourage it, although there are sick passes obviously. Typically, Level 1 is done in the morning, Level 2 in the afternoon and Level 3 at night, however Ruthie is free to rearrange this at her own discretion. Each person is wired differently and if Ruthie feels more energy in the morning, maybe she’ll want to complete her Level 3 then. Gym is mostly self-moderated. We have a gym facility that we use and classes that run all day. Which class Ruthie chooses to show up for is her decision. She could choose to go in the morning one day and in the evening the next. She can spread her classes out or take them all at once, although for obvious reasons we frown on them taking three hours of gym at once. We keep a careful eye on them and their condition, but we also expect them to know their own limits. As growing adults, we won’t always be there to hold their hand. This is their time to learn their own limits.”

“What about academics?” Annie asked, moving the conversation along.

“We offer several academic classes. Like a university, we have requirements but with several classes that will serve to fulfill them. So for humanities, Ruthie can choose to take Fiction Composition or Russian History or Sociology. We offer English, French, Italian, Mandarin Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Somali, Swahili, Fulani, Arabic, Persian, Kurdish, Hebrew, Spanish and Portugese, Unofficially, we offer even more as students often teach each other their native languages.”

There was silence as they took in the long list of languages. “Wow,” Ruthie muttered, daunted for the first time.

The redhead easily read the young girl’s expression and smiled warmly. “It’s not that bad. As I said, only two languages are required, meaning that when you graduate, you will be fluent in at least three total, including your birth language. As part of our civic requirements, students are required to spend at least one month’s worth of time a year volunteering in other countries. Many students combine this with their language requirement by spending a month in a country speaking nothing but a foreign language. So a student studying Mandarin may choose to volunteer in China.”

“They have to do this every year?” Kevin wondered.

“Volunteering? Yes. We require one month total of time spent volunteering every year. Some do the month solid, some break it up. But yes, that is a yearly requirement. For language, however, that is total. So they have to spend one solid month in another country speaking their foreign language only once their entire high school career. But remember that Ruthie will be required to take two languages, so that means two months total. Again, how she breaks that up will be up to her. And to be completely honest, our students tend to spend much longer than just a month. We are giving these girls the opportunity to travel and explore the world, essentially for free. It is not unusual for them to take advantage of it.”

“How can you do this all for free?” Annie wondered suspiciously.

“It’s free for students,” the redhead clarified. “We own several private planes because we frequently have trips going around the world. We also have an extensive network of alumni who can help arrange travel and accommodations. I’m not saying Ruthie should pick some random village in the middle of nowhere and say ‘I want to go there’. We have trips already scheduled - volunteer trips or student trips home - and the students pick the ones they want to take. Which is not to say that Ruthie can’t just close her eyes and pick a town in the middle of nowhere. If there’s a good reason why Ruthie wants to volunteer somewhere specific, we can certainly make an effort to accommodate that wish.

“We are big believers in volunteering. Even us educators have to do it. I, personally, am in charge of the South American visits. Anytime I’m not teaching in London, I’m in South America. We have a main representative for each continent, excluding Antarctica obviously. In addition to that, we have former alumni and even current students.” She nodded at Ruthie. “Say, tomorrow, a student wanted to do her English requirement here or in San Francisco or something. Then I would put her in touch with Ruthie and the two would have an opportunity to talk. It’s not unusual for a student to go home with another student and live with them for the month long period. One day, Ruthie may come home with a Chinese or Italian or whatever friend who wants to spend time practicing her English.”

“Like a foreign exchange program,” Lucy summed up.

The woman gave a shrug. “Essentially.” There was a moment’s pause as everyone absorbed what they’d heard. “Any other questions?” the woman asked.

“Ruthie’s living situation. Dorm rooms, safety?” Annie asked.

“We own several apartment buildings around the city. First years are required to room with three others. This is to promote friendships but also to help with homesickness. After that first year, two people to a room. In their last year, students can opt for a single. So, since Ruthie is coming in as a sophomore, her sophomore year will be in a quad, her junior year in a double and her senior year in either a double or a single.

“As for safety, we encourage our students to go out in groups or pairs and a requirement class for the first semester is self-defense. Students sign in and out of all dorm buildings and they have to give at least a vague description of where they’re heading and about how long they’ll be. We have every student’s cell phone on record and we check the roster every night to make sure that everyone is where they’re supposed to be.”

“And what about boys?” Lucy asked.

The redhead smiled. “We are an all-girls school, so _that’s_ not an issue. Boys are allowed in the main floor lobby and the rec room only. No boys are allowed on any of the living floors. If you’re asking about dating boys, I’m afraid that is between you and your daughter. Those rules are set between the two of you and it is up to Ruthie to honor any promises she makes in regards to dating and the like.”

The others nodded as this was fair enough.

“What about after school? College?” Eric asked seriously.

“Of course. Many of our students continue their education. We have a good percentage that go to Oxford and University of London because they continue on at TSA as part time workers. This is what allows us a lot of availability when it comes to gym classes all day or our 15 language classes. We rely a lot on our graduates coming back and teaching a course or two. It’s not required, but we find that nearly every single one of our graduates so far have. This year’s graduating year will be a class of 78 women. About 35 are going straight to college, 10 are going to college part time and working part time, 25 are taking a break, traveling or working before intending to go to college in a few years. Only about 10 have no interest in returning to school and are jumping straight into the work force.

“We also help place students in jobs, not just schools. We have several associate or affiliated companies around the world where students intern at or get jobs at after they’ve graduated. So just because college isn’t their next step, doesn’t mean that we don’t still help them figure out what that next step for them is.”

By now, the entire room was nodding along agreeably. They all hoped that Ruthie would go on to college, but it was nice to know that if she didn’t, she would still have available options.

“Wow,” Lucy finally breathed out. “This school sounds amazing.”

“Almost too amazing,” Kevin remarked, slightly suspicious.

The redhead laughed at the remark. “If at any time, Ruthie is unhappy with her education, she can leave at any time. But we have never had a student leave.”

“Never?” Annie asked. This time, she was the one who was suspicious.

“We’ve had students take leaves of absence for personal or family reasons, but no. No student has ever dropped out or transferred out ofTSA. We try to be very accommodating to our students. We only accept special, bright young women. What’s the point in locating and fostering that talent if you’re going to give up on it at the first sign of hardship?”

“You make some excellent points,” Eric remarked standing up, the others following him, a clear sign that they were ready to end the meeting. “We’ll be sure to consider this as we discuss things more with the family.”

The redhead stood as well. “Thank you. I look forward to hearing a positive response.” She reached out her hand and shook it with every person in the room.

“Just one thing,” Lucy wondered. “What does TSA stand for?”

The redhead smiled and gave a wink. “Sorry, school secret. Only current students, faculty and alumni know the answer to that. Right, Ruthie?”

Ruthie gave a smile. “Right.”

“You already know?” Lucy asked in surprise. Had her sister already essentially enrolled in the school and was only now talking to them about it? She wouldn’t put it past her sister to do first and ask permission later.

“It’s come up.” Ruthie shrugged.

They had steadily made their way to the door before Eric blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?” he asked regretfully, embarrassed that, in the flood of information, he had forgotten the nice young woman’s name.

“I’m Willow. Willow Rosenberg.”  
~  
“So, what do you think?” Willow wondered as she and Ruthie slowly walked down the street to the redhead’s car.

“I think they’ll let me go. After a spiel like that, they’d be crazy not to,” the brunette admitted, a smile on her face. She had been focusing on the cons lately and the only pro had been getting away from the Martin-Sandy situation, but after hearing all of the things offered at TSA, she was honestly excited. Not only would she be moving to London, but she would be traveling the world, learning new languages and helping people.

“When do you think you’ll be leaving?”

Ruthie nibbled on her lower lip. Again, she was forced to contemplate this. She knew that she couldn’t stay too long; couldn’t bare to watch Sandy grow bigger with pregnancy and Martin attempt to become a father. But it would be hard saying goodbye to everyone and everything she knew and loved. “A week,” she offered hesitantly. “Yeah, a week.”

Willow’s eyebrow rose in surprise at the quick timeline. Typically, students wanted to wait at least two weeks or even a month or two. The only ones who wanted to leave immediately were abused children or children in poverty, which Ruthie didn’t appear to be either.

Still, Willow held her tongue. Ruthie and her family’s lives were her business and hers alone.

“Then I’ll stay until the end of the week. I’ll book tickets for Saturday morning at LAX. We’ll leave then.” She reached out and gave Ruthie’s shoulder a small squeeze in goodbye. “I’ll forward the flight details to you once I’ve confirmed it.”

Ruthie held her hand out in a wave as the small rental car drove off. Slowly, she wandered back to her house, stepping inside to find everyone in the living room, dead silent. Worried, she stepped into the room. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she demanded.

Lucy gave a small smile. “Nothing. We’re just realizing that… you’re growing up.” Ruthie gave her an unimpressed look, waiting for the rest. “You’re growing up and going out into the world and-” Lucy began to sniffle as tears came to her eyes. “And we’re not going to be able to see you for three years.”

Ruthie gave a small sigh. “I wouldn’t say that,” she said softly, coming to sit next to her sister, wrapping her arms around the blonde. “I’m sure I’ll make it for Christmas, it’s just summer and those other breaks that I won’t be back for. And you can always visit me if you need to.”

“Still, once a year?” Annie’s lips pinched into a frown. “That’s a very long time to go without seeing you.” It was clear that Ruthie’s mother was also on the verge of tears. Eric knew it too if his automatic reaction of placing a comforting hand on her back was any indication.

“It’s more than we see Mary. And Matt sometimes too,” Kevin pointed out logically, but at his wife’s angry glare, backtracked. “But we’ll miss you.”

“So this is it?” Ruthie wondered in surprise. “You’re letting me go?” She had expected more discussions, more arguments. Maybe even a huge fight or two. Not this easy acceptance.

Eric and Annie nodded. “It’s clear that this is something you have to do and I have to trust in you and believe that God has chosen to set things up like this to give you this gift. That this is all happening at the right time and the right place for you and your future.”

It wasn’t hard to read in between the lines and see what he was really talking about was Martin. Still, Ruthie would take it because, to be honest, she was beginning to feel the same way.

“Thank you,” she said, nearly speechless. “I’ll make you guys proud, I promise.”  
~  
A week later, Ruthie was in her room, pacing around nervously, double, triple and quadruple checking her luggage. A duffel bag and one suitcase packed with clothes, shoes and toiletries as well as her laptop computer and a couple of pictures of her friends and family. She had hesitated over the picture of her and Martin. It was taken a couple of months ago and captured him, with his baseball bat in his hand, as he talked to her through the chain link fence behind the mound, the two of them grinning. It was a hard memory to look at, but one Ruthie ultimately decided to take with her to London, tucking it underneath all of her things, however, hiding it from view. She hoped that maybe one day, she’d be able to look at it without feeling a stabbing pain in her heart and the overwhelming urge to cry.

It had been hard telling the rest of the family. She had sworn everyone to secrecy, even threatening to reveal a few deep, dark secrets of her own in order to convince them not to breathe a word. She gave a smirk of satisfaction. Sometimes being the family secret keeper came in handy.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want people to know. It was that she didn’t want a specific person to know. She was aware that her reasons were fairly obvious and that, most likely, everyone knew exactly why she wanted them to keep their silence, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t ready to face Martin yet, let alone say goodbye.

With a deep sigh and a quick peak at her cell phone, she grabbed her duffel bag and purse, throwing them over her shoulder and then reaching down for her suitcase handle. With one last look around her room, she left.

Her family was waiting for her in the living room. Even Simon had driven home to send his sister off. With a tiny sniffle, she threw herself at her favorite brother.

“Call me. Everyday,” Simon whispered in her ear.

“I promise,” she whispered back, squeezing tighter and burying her face into his neck. It took several long minutes for them to finally separate and if there was a tear in Simon’s eye, well, Ruthie was considerate enough not to say anything about it.

Next was Lucy who immediately gathered Ruthie into her arms the minute she realized it was her turn. “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to do great.”

“Thanks.” Ruthie smiled, pulling away to give Kevin and Savannah a hug too. “Mom,” she said to the woman next in line.

“Oh, Ruthie.” The blonde gathered her youngest daughter in a hug. “When did you get so old?”

“I’m not that old,” Ruthie laughed, pulling away.

“Old enough to be leaving the nest,” Eric said, embracing his daughter.

“I’ll be back,” she murmured lowly, but the truth was, she wasn’t sure that she could promise that. Wasn’t sure that she wanted to. “Sam. David.”

“We don’t want you to go,” Sam said, crossing his arms in refusal.

“Yeah. We want you to stay here with us,” David also put in.

Ruthie gathered the two into her arms for a big hug, despite their refusal to return her affection. “I know and I’m sorry guys. But one day, you will also have to go and we will let you just like you have to let me now.”

Sam and David let out a small sigh and opened their arms to return her hug at last.

Ruthie pulled away, giving everyone one last look, before grabbing her things and heading for the door.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to drive you to the airport?” Annie asked for what was quite honestly the hundredth time.

“No, mom. Willow has to return her rental car anyway. It’s easier for us to go together.” Ruthie turned around, giving the entire house a once over. “I love you, guys.”

A chorus of “I love you too”s rang out as Ruthie stepped outside and shut the door on her family.

She made it down the steps before hesitating, reaching into the pocket of her purse and pulling out a crisp white letter. Handling the points gently, she twirled it lightly between her fingertips as she made her way to the mailbox out front, still debating whether or not she was going to put it in the mail.

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye?” a familiar voice asked her, startling Ruthie. She turned her head to find Martin standing, waiting for her on the sidewalk, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his shoulders hunched as he looked up at her through his eyelashes. For a moment, Ruthie cursed God for making him so beautiful and for also making him her biggest weakness.

“I… wrote you a letter,” she said lamely, holding up the envelope in her hand slightly, suddenly realizing how that sounded.

Martin, however, nodded, as though he had somehow expected that.

“How did you-?” she wondered aloud, her eyes momentarily going to the house in time to find Lucy quickly flicking the curtain shut and hiding. “Of course.” Ruthie gave a sigh. “I should have known better than to hope Lucy could keep a secret.”

“So, London?” Martin asked, changing the subject back on course. “That’s…” Great, a really good opportunity, a blessing. “Far,” he finished lamely.

She nodded agreeably. “Yes, it is.” _That’s kind of the point_ , she wanted to scream.

He seemed to pick up on that, although she didn’t know why she was surprised. He had always been able to read her well. Too well. “Is this because of… because of me?” Even now, he couldn’t say the words. Sandy. The baby. That was okay though. She didn’t think she could hear the words come out of his mouth right now either.

“No,” she replied before reconsidering. “Yes. Maybe?” She gave a sigh. “A little, but not really.”

“That was… confusing,” he admitted earning himself a small breathy laugh. At the sound, he too smiled. It had been so long since he had heard her laugh let alone been the cause of it.

“I’m not doing this because of you,” she clarified. “I was given an opportunity and I’m taking it. Would I have done the same thing if you hadn’t-” _knocked Sandy up_. She let out a breath, “I don’t know what I would have done, if I would still be going, if things were different. But they aren’t. And I am.”

Martin winced as she spoke, but was frowning sullenly by the time she finished. “I-” Whatever he wanted to say would remain a mystery as Willow pulled up to the curb, interrupting their conversation.

“Ready to go?” the redhead asked brightly, unaware of the solemn conversation she was interrupting.

“Yeah,” Ruthie muttered, heading towards the trunk of the car. Her breath stuttered as, in a flash, she felt Martin’s heat come up behind her. He reached behind her to open the trunk and then down to gently unclasp her hand from her luggage and put it inside for her.

Ruthie refrained from looking at him, aware that with him standing so close, that if she did, she might never look away again.

She waited until he had closed the trunk before moving around the car to the passenger’s side door.

“Ruthie,” Martin called out, grabbing her wrist, forcing her to turn around. He looked so upset that all Ruthie really wanted to do was reach out and wrap her arms around him in a hug. But she couldn’t. That wasn’t her place anymore.

Instead, she reached up on her tip toes, resting one hand on his shoulder to brace herself as she leaned in. His eyes widened in surprise, clearly thinking that she was coming in to kiss him. And in a way, he was right. She turned her head and lightly rested a kiss at the corner of his mouth. More intimate than a kiss on the cheek, not quite a kiss on the mouth. Yes, that summed up the two of them nicely, didn’t it?

She slowly pulled away, aware of his startled gaze on the side of her face, tracing her every feature in an attempt to understand what just happened.

“Goodbye, Martin,” she said resolutely before climbing into the car and refusing to take another look back. Willow seemed to realize this and put the car into drive, leaving the boy behind, standing in the middle of the road. Willow was also kind enough not to comment on the tears streaming down Ruthie’s cheeks or the heaving, gasping sobs that started up and didn’t stop for over an hour.

It was not a particularly auspicious beginning to the next chapter of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruthie gets invited to a prestigious English boarding school and, in the wake of Sandy's pregnancy, decides to go. Three years later, a very different Ruthie Camden returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All foreign languages came from Google Translate - mistakes are not my own. Feel free to correct them, if you'd like.

Ruthie looked around her dorm room in awe. To be perfectly honest, it was less of a dorm room and more of an apartment. The building was a tall skyscraper with over fifty floors. The lower floors were for first years consisting of quad rooms only. Ruthie’s dorm was on the eighth floor. The first room was a living area with a table and four chairs, a couch and two arm chairs. Along one wall was a kitchenette with cupboards, an electric cook top, microwave, sink and dish rack.

Already in the room was a tall, willowy Asian girl, curled up on the sofa reading a book. She immediately looked up the moment Willow and Ruthie walked in.

“Nǐ hǎo,” Willow greeted with a perky wave.

The girl smiled and waved back. “Hello,” she enunciated carefully.

Willow turned back to Ruthie. “Ruthie, this is Meilin, one of your dorm mates.” She turned to Meilin. “Méilín, zhè shì nǐ de xīn shìyǒu Ruthie.” _(This is your new roommate Ruthie)_

Meilin smiled, getting up from the couch to greet the new girl. “Nǐ hǎo.”

“Ni hao,” Ruthie tried back, her nose wrinkling a bit as she butchered the words slightly, but Meilin only grinned wider.

“Mandarin is tonal, similar to the difference between a question and an exclamation in English,” the black haired girl explained. Her words were spoken only a bit slow and were still crisply accented, but Ruthie understood her easily and was happy that there would (hopefully) be minimal communication issues. “I can teach you a little, if you want.”

Ruthie smiled back, attempting to ignore the wide grin spread across Willow’s face and the barely contained squeal of excitement. “Good! You’re getting along!” Willow laughed. “Are Amie and Rivkah here?”

Meilin nodded, tilting her head towards the door behind her on the left. “They’re in their room.”

Willow led Ruthie over and rapped her knuckles on the door. “Hey, it’s Willow. Your new dorm mate is here. Come on out.”

The door opened and two blonde girls came out, glancing over at Ruthie in assessment causing the petite brunette to shift awkwardly a bit.

“Bonjour,” the petite blonde on the right side with short, cropped pixie hair said, reaching a hand out to shake. “I am Amie,” she introduced in heavily accented French.

“Oh! Bonjour!” Ruthie grinned, finally happy for all those French classes she took in high school. “Je m’appelle Ruthie. Ravi de vous rencontrer.” _(My name is Ruthie. Nice to meet you.)_

“Vous aussi,” Amie grinned back, clearly happy.

“Amie,” Willow reprimanded lightly causing the girl to give a small sigh of annoyance.  
“You too,” she corrected, practicing her English.  
Everyone turned to the last girl, a tall, lean girl with long blonde hair plaited into a French braid, leaning against the doorway with a distinctly unimpressed look on her face. “Rivkah,” she introduced, her tone clearly bored. She pronounced the “k” in her name harshly, from the throat, cluing Ruthie into the fact that this girl was also from another corner of the world. She wondered if TSA purposely paired up girls from different areas of the world.

“Ruthie,” the brunette said, a bit awkwardly in the face of such a cold expression.

Willow gave a small sigh, clearly unsurprised by Rivkah’s “chattiness”. “Alright, why don’t you go ahead and get settled in?” she said to Ruthie, handing her a binder filled with papers to help the new student. “Here’s a map of our campus as well as a map of London. The girls will show you around, won’t you?” she threw over her shoulder. Amie and Meilin nodded but Rivkah just gave an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes. Willow gave a disappointed shake of her head and left the four young girls on their own.

“So, this is my room?” Ruthie wondered pointing at the door on the right, assuming that she would be rooming with Meilin since Amie and Rivkah had both come out of the room on the left.

Amie and Meilin both shook their head no, however. “Meilin and I have that room. You’re with Rivkah on the left.”

Ruthie fought not to grimace at the news. Great. She was rooming with the one girl in her dorm room who hated her. Perfect.  
Still, she made her way to the door, sidestepping the tall blonde. Inside was a decently sized room. The far left wall had a window with a bed pushed up underneath it, a bookshelf at the feet. Above the bed, squeezed between it and the wall, was a desk. The bedspread was a dark purple color and given the books and clothes strewn over it, it was safe to assume that it was Rivkah’s side of the room. On the right, tucked into the corner was a plain bed with TSA purple and gold sheets on it. Ruthie knew that these were the plain sheets given to every student until they could get their own set, if they even wanted to bother with new ones. At the foot of her bed was an empty bookshelf and a desk pushed against the wall next to that. Between Rivkah’s desk and Ruthie’s bed were a set of double French doors.

“Is that a balcony?” Ruthie gaped in surprise, heading straight for it. Opening the door, she stepped out into the windy London air, looking down at the street. “Wow,” she murmured, impressed. Turning back around, she stepped back inside and noticed two large standing wardrobes directly across from her, next to the door. The one wedged against the wall was open showcasing clothes already packed inside. Since that one was obviously Rivkah’s, that left the one on the left, closest to the door, as Ruthie’s.

Opening it, she noticed a full scale mirror on the back of one of the doors. Inside was a rack to hang her clothes and a couple sets of drawers on the floor to fold her clothes. On the back of the other wardrobe door held several hooks for belts and scarves and such. Tucked into the back, behind the drawers, was a small lock box safe that Willow had already informed her would only open to Ruthie’s specific room key.

She moved to her bed, lifting her suitcase on top and setting her duffel and purse on the ground. Unzipping her luggage, she withdrew her folded clothes and began storing them in her drawers. She didn’t have a lot, couldn’t take much on the plane, and she knew that she would have to do some shopping soon. Her parents had gotten her a credit card as well as a debit card before she left, just for this very occasion. She would need more clothes, hangers for said clothes, toiletries and more. Luckily, TSA had anticipated such needs and so Ruthie would have two days to settle in, buy her necessities and learn her way around before her first classes began on Wednesday.

Grabbing her tiny travel sized bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash, she tucked them into her small shower caddy, along with her hairbrush and loofah. She was aware the most girls probably dreaded having to share a bathroom with God knew how many others, but living at the Camden house had left Ruthie fully prepared for this event, she thought with a giggle.

“Are you done yet?” a voice asked, startling Ruthie. To her left was Rivkah, leaning against Ruthie’s wardrobe, her arms crossed in front of her. “We’re heading to dinner,” she said simply, once she had the brunette’s attention. With no further words, the blonde turned on her heel and exited the room.

“Friendly,” Ruthie muttered sarcastically, but grabbed her jacket from where she’d tossed it over her bookshelf earlier and slipped it on, exiting the room.

Meilin and Amie stood by the main door, clearly waiting on her. They must have noticed the confused look on her face because Meilin gave her a worn smile. “Rivkah went to go catch the elevator,” she smiled.

“Is she always that…” Ruthie trailed off, unsure how to finish without being rude.

“Frigid?” Amie offered. “She is hard to warm up,” she petite blonde tried to explain.

Meilin nodded. “It took almost the entire first semester to get her to say more that two words to me at a time,” she said, clearly trying to sound helpful, though in truth, her words were anything but.

“Great,” Ruthie enthused sarcastically.

Amie gave her a confused smile before turning to look at her companion. “Je ne comprends pas.” _(I don’t understand)_ Meilin just gave an equally confused shrug.

Ruthie gave a loud laugh, the first one since leaving home behind. “Oh, guys,” she said, throwing her arms around the two girls and dragging them out the door, “let me give you an introductory course to the beauty of sarcasm.”

“Oh!” the two girls chorused as they realized that Ruthie’s words earlier had not been meant to be taken seriously.

“Don’t worry. Stick with me and you will soon be able to recognize sarcasm in the English language at fifty feet,” Ruthie continued to tease as they made their way down the hall towards an impatient Rivkah.

“!מה לקח לך כל כך הרבה זמן,” _(What took you so long!)_ she shouted angrily. “!פספסנו את המעלית הראשונה” _(We missed the first elevator!)_

Ruthie blinked at the rush of harsh words.

“סליחה” _(Sorry)_ Amie replied, though her pronunciation was nowhere near as smooth as Rivkah’s. “We were talking.”

Rivkah sneered and made an uncomplimentary sound as the elevator doors opened.

They stepped in and traveled to the lobby. “So where _is_ the cafeteria?” Ruthie wondered. She hadn’t had a chance to take a look at the map Willow had provided her in the binder.

“TSA owns several buildings within several blocks of each other,” Amie explained. “The cafeteria is two blocks down. Classes are in the building behind us.”

“We usually cut out back instead of walking around the block,” Meilin interjected slightly as the elevator bell rang and they all stepped out. The lobby floor was a shining white marble, the walls a pale purple color with the occasional gold accent; TSA colors.

The girls led Ruthie to the main desk. There was no one there at the moment, but there was a large binder splayed out. They each took turns signing themselves out, Rivkah huffing at the ‘annoyance’.

“You have your student card?” Meilin checked before leaving the building. Ruthie nodded in response. “Good. The cards are how you pay for your food and enter school buildings. Some outside restaurants and cafes accept them too. I think a convenience store too. But mostly it’s just for TSA use.”

“Hey, wait,” Amie exclaimed, a bright smile on her face. “We should show Ruthie around before heading to dinner.”

“Are you kidding me?” Rivkah asked in disbelief causing the petite blonde to frown.

“If you don’t want to, go ahead without us.” Amie pouted, slipping her arm through Ruthie’s and dragging her back around the building, slipping into a narrow alley. Ruthie could see Meilin following them and noticed that even Rivkah was following behind her as well, an upset scowl on her face however.

They came across a split pathway, two buildings on each side. “Sciences,” Amie said pointing to the building on the left, “humanitites,” were the building on the right. “Come on.” She tugged Ruthie again, pulling her into the science building. The inside had stark white walls, grey tile floors and a pale blue trim.

“Classes get mixed up, so there’s no way of knowing where one is. And they won’t be in the same location each year. But professor offices tend to be on the same floor or within one floor of their classes. Exceptions are the really popular classes. Those are held in the auditorium,” Meilin explained.

Amie made a small face. “Meilin’s a brain,” she confessed in a whisper like it was a secret.

“Do you like science?” Ruthie wondered, but the black haired girl made a pained face.

“Not even remotely. But my parents really want me to be a doctor.” Meilin frowned and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in a way that reminded Ruthie of the tall blonde standing next to her. “They want me to be the…” She paused, grasping for a word, but not finding it. She turned to Rivkah. “What is the word that I am looking for?” the Asian asked.

“Stereotypical,” Rivkah replied in a bored tone.

“Yes. Stereotypical.” Meilin nodded resolutely. “They want me to be the stereotypical nice Asian girl who is very successful, marries well and leaves job to take care of my family.”

“But Meilin wants to be a politician,” Amie confided.

“No, not necessarily.” But Meilin was blushing hard, clearly indicating that she was lying. “I just want to work in government. I would be happy with any position.”

“I think I understand,” Ruthie said with a smile.

But Rivkah made a loud scoffing sound. “What would you know of hardship, American girl?” she sneered.

“Rivkah!” Amie and Meilin hissed in unison, horrified by their friend’s words.

“What?” she hissed back angrily before turning to the petite brunette. “I live in Jerusalem. Rockets go off all the time, nowhere is safe. I know fear and anger and hatred. I know hardship. And the minute I graduate TSA, I will return to my country and join the military, as is my country’s law. Tell me again how you understand hardship,” the tall blonde demanded.

Ruthie blinked in surprise at the girl’s hatred. She had no idea what she had done to deserve such vitriol. On the other hand, Rivkah was right. Compared to that, what did she know? “I didn’t say I knew hardship,” she admitted. “I have had a good life, a safe one. Nothing like what you’ve experienced.” Ruthie frowned. “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have difficulties and that I don’t understand pain.” She turned to Meilin, ignoring Rivkah. “My father’s a reverend. I grew up being watched by an entire town. Everyone expects me to act the way a good preacher’s girl should. But I’m fifteen, almost sixteen. I should be able to do what I want, be _who_ I want. My siblings all caved under the pressure to be perfect and each time they made a mistake, they had an entire town who knew about it and whispered about it and made sure my family never forgot. It’s part of the reason why I’m so glad to be at TSA; to get away from the pressures of my family. To figure out who I am and who I want to be.”

Meilin and Amie both smiled at her answer, making Ruthie glad that she had told them the truth instead of hiding her own issues. She was glad that they seemed ready to accept her. Rivkah, on the other hand, just sneered some more, turning on her heel and flouncing ahead, leaving the other three to catch up.

“I don’t have such problems,” Amie continued the conversation blithely. “I am who I am. Who else am I supposed to be?”

Meilin giggled and even Ruthie smiled at the tiny blonde. “How old are you?” the small brunette wondered.

Amie frowned. “I turned fifteen a few months ago. What does that have to do with anything?”

Ruthie shrugged. “I don’t know. I just think that it gets harder as you get older. Maybe we’ll all have this conversation again is four years and see if our answers are the same.”

The French girl was still frowning, unsure whether she liked that her answer was being singled out because of how young she was.

Seeing this, Ruthie hastened to assure the girl. “I’m fifteen too.” She stopped a minute in realization. “Oh. But I turn sixteen in a couple of days,” she said in surprise. With all the Martin baby drama and then TSA and packing up her life and moving… she had honestly forgotten her own birthday.

“Bon Anniversaire,” Amie said, her mood instantly lifted up. “I love birthdays!”

“Can we please just finish this?” Rivkah asked in exasperation. “I’m starving! If we’re not going to actually show her around, can we please just go to dinner? I am ten seconds away from eating my own arm.” She gave the girls an appraising look. “Or yours.”

As one, the three girls quickly sped up, none of them willing to take the chance that she was serious. They left the building through the front and turned right, using their cards to enter the humanities building. “This is pretty much the same as the science building,” Rivkah said briskly, taking over the tour as she quickly walked through the first floor. She clearly was in a rush and kept a quick pace, probably not trusting the others to get distracted again. The building had hardwood floors and cream walls; an entirely different feel than the previous building. “Your room number will obviously tell you the floor, same as with our forms. Room 608 is on the sixth floor. Odd rooms will all be on one side, even on the other.”

She quickly led the back outside using the front entrance. They walked down the block and crossed the street. In front of them was a large building. Where the others were all tall, this one was wide. They entered the room. “This is the gym. We do allow membership to outsiders, however, so watch what you do. There are areas sectioned off for things we can’t do in front of civilians, like weapons training.” This building was sleek and clean with straight lines and sharp edges. Whoever designed the place clearly wanted it to be ultra modern. “In the back there are two swimming pools. One is temperature controlled, but normal. The other simulates waves. There’s also a Jacuzzi for relaxing after a work out. Behind that are the showers, separated for boys and girls. Obviously, there tends to be more females since this is primarily for TSA use. Upstairs is where the actual gym equipment is. Third floor has classes like yoga and whatnot. Fourth floor is cordoned off for TSA use. That’s what I was talking about earlier.” Rivkah turned on her heel to face Ruthie. “And that’s it. Last is the cafeteria. Let’s go.” She quickly herded the three teens out the door and back down the block where they came from. Sneaking through the Humanities and Science building, they went around the dorms and were right back where they started. This time they crossed the street and headed up almost two full blocks before reaching a bright red brick building.

“Finally! Food!” Rivkah crowed, swiping her card to get in. Ruthie walked inside to find what was essentially a café.

“First floor is the Café,” Amie explained, leading the girl up the stairway, seemingly reading the brunette’s thoughts. “Upstairs is the actual dining hall. There’s also a small pub adjacent to the gym.”

The four girls opened the double doors, revealing a large dining area with dozens of large, round tables. Chairs were filled with chatting, young teenage girls.

There were hundreds of girls. _Hundreds_. “Welcome to The Slayer Academy,” Amie said cheerfully in the face of Ruthie’s awe.

~BTVS-7H~

Somehow, Ruthie had thought that TSA would be more interesting than her last high school, but no, school was still school, regardless of where it was. Of course now, in addition to her core classes like History and Math, she also had Demonology and Sword Fighting. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a free minute to do something that didn’t somehow involve school.

“Ugh,” Ruthie groaned, flopping back onto her bed, letting out a huge rush of air when her heavy bag landed on top of her. With a small sigh, she turned onto her side, staring at the blank wall contemplatively. When she first found out about vampires, this was not how she pictured things going.

_ Ruthie bit her lip hard, trying not to let her tears leak through. She had spent the last week a sobbing mess and quite frankly, she was rather hoping to be out of tears by now. _

_ How could Martin do this to her? Okay, fine, so it wasn’t to her, but still. He had had sex. Pre-marital sex. With a virtual stranger! And now said stranger was knocked up with his child. _

**_ I hate me too. _ **

_ Ruthie viciously shook her head. No. She had to ignore what he said. He couldn’t change things. He couldn’t go back in time and undo what he did. What did it matter that he regretted it? It didn’t mater. Nothing he said or did mattered because… because… _  
_ Ruthie let out a choked sob. _  
_ Because Sandy was pregnant! _

_ Ruthie darted into the dark walkway between two houses. It was late and there was nobody out, but she didn’t want to risk someone seeing her. Not only had she snuck out of her house at two o’clock in the morning, but she was pretty much having a complete emotional breakdown in public. _

_ Once she was far enough down the walkway, she shoved herself back against the house, and covered her mouth with her hand, stifling the sounds of her heart breaking over and over again as she slid down to the ground. _

_ “What’s this I hear?” a man’s voice said from further up the walkway. Ruthie froze, her eyes wide as her hand automatically tightened further around her mouth, quieting herself even more. “Is someone crying?” the man’s voice chuckled. _

_ Ruthie’s eyes darted to the open mouth of the walkway. She had gone far enough in that, should something happen, no one would see her. And she couldn’t see the man so she had no idea if he was far away enough for her to make a run for it. _

_ Gathering her nerves, she removed her hand from her mouth, her hand shaking slightly. Leaning forward, she peered around a shrub that was obstructing her sight and promptly froze. Eyes trailing upward, she nearly whimpered as she found a man’s facing staring down at her. _

_ “There you are, little girl.” The man grinned before suddenly his face changed; eyebrows becoming ridged, teeth becoming sharp and eyes turning yellow. He was a monster. _

_ A startled scream escaped Ruthie mouth as she threw herself backward, scrambling to her feet, but before she could make a run for it, she felt a steel cold grip around her upper arm and was swiftly thrown into the house she had just been leaning against. Ruthie’s back screamed in pain as she crumpled to the ground once more. _

_ “Now, now,” the monster tisked. “None of that.” He gripped her by the neck and hauled her up until her feet were dangling in the air, her lungs begging for air. The man opened his mouth wide, leaning in. Ruthie wasn’t sure what he was planning to do but she knew that whatever it was, she wasn’t going to like it. _

_ With all her might, she reached up and shoved the man away from her. To her surprise, it worked, the man slamming into the side of the house opposite her. He, too, seemed surprised. For a second, the two of them merely stared at each other in shock, but Ruthie quickly regained her senses and let out a scream, running for the sidewalk. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it far before she was tackled to the ground, the man’s heavy weight on top of her. She let out another scream, squirming and bucking, trying to get him off of her. _

_ “Shut up!” he hissed covering her mouth. That one second of lost concentration was enough for Ruthie to wedge her arm out from underneath her, slamming her elbow up into the side of his head. _

_ He released her with a curse allowing Ruthie to scramble away. She felt something sharp in her hand and swung it around as a weapon, instinctively slamming the object into the man’s chest. Her eyes widened as she realized what she had just done. She just… she just… She just killed a man! _

_ “Nice try, sweetie,” the man said, startling Ruthie, drawing her horrified gaze from the gaping wound to his smirking face as he pulled out the piece of sharp pipe. “But it has to be wood.” _

_ He lunged at her and again, Ruthie moved instinctively, swinging her fist up into his face. He took a couple of steps back, whether from the force or merely surprise, she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t bother to pause to find out, instead kicking out and catching him exactly on the wound that she had left him and forcing him back another few steps. _

_ Whatever he was, he wasn’t human. He couldn’t be. _

_ “What are you going to do?” he asked with an angry snarl. “You can’t kill me!” _

_ Ruthie cocked her head to the side contemplatively before smiling, drawing a look of confusion from him. She looked to her right to find that she had brought them back to the shrub that she had been hiding from. He still looked confused for a moment before that look turned into realization. _

_ “Wood, huh?” she asked, recalling what he had said earlier. _

_ “Shit,” he muttered. _

_ She smirked and reached down, snapping off one of the branches and holding it like a weapon. It was weird, she had never held a weapon before, but it felt comfortable in her hand; like it belonged there. _

_ “Slayer?” he wondered, causing Ruthie to blink in confusion, but she didn’t let her confusion deter her, kicking out once again and catching him in the chest. She kicked out a third time, this time swinging her leg to catch him across the side of his face in a roundhouse. The momentum threw him against the house again and when he turned back to face her, she was already in front of him. _

_ “Bye-bye, sweetie,” she sneered, shoving the stake into his chest and watching as he exploded into dust. She blinked in surprise before stumbling back a few steps, her back against the opposite house as she, once again, slid down. “Holy shit.” _

On second thought, maybe being bored wasn’t such a bad thing.

Ruthie blinked, startled, when her phone rang. Her parents had taken to calling her every night since she’d left, although she had finally convinced them to lower it to once every other night. And Lucy texted almost every five seconds, as though she didn’t want Ruthie to miss a second of it. Ruthie was okay not knowing what her sister was up to every second of every day. Simon texted frequently as well, but at least he had the decency to make sure his updates were either important or humorous.

“Simon?” she said, picking up the phone. “What’s up?” Simon was really the only one she kept in touch with from back home. She devoured news from her hometown, but at the same time, she didn’t want to think about it, about them. Thinking about her family made her homesick and also made her think about…

She shook her head. She had decided when she boarded that plane not to think of him. Still, her eyes strayed to the picture on top of her bookshelf. There were images of her and her family, but the picture in the center was the one she had of her and Martin.

“Are you listening?” Simon asked into her ear.

Ruthie winced. She had to stop letting herself think of him! “Sorry, I was thinking. What were you saying?” she said, focusing back on her brother.

“Martin and Sandy are getting married,” Simon repeated, slower, wary of his sister’s reaction.

Everything in Ruthie’s world came to a screeching stop. “Oh?” she said mildly, her voice a bit higher than normal. “Good for them. Tell them I said congrats, okay?”

“Ruthie-” Simon spoke softly, but with a tone to his voice like he knew what she was really thinking, which he probably did. Sometimes it sucked having someone who knew her so well. Especially when that someone was her brother.

“Look, I have to get to class. Love you, bye.” She hung up the phone hastily. Blinking, Ruthie stared off into space. Martin. And Sandy. Are getting married. She heard the words, but it was like she couldn’t understand them. Martin. And Sandy. Are getting married.  
Standing up, she went to her closet and dug through, throwing out shirt after shirt. She heard the door open, but didn’t bother to look up.

“What’s eating you?” Rivkah’s familiar biting voice wondered from behind.

“I need to go out,” Ruthie replied absentmindedly as she picked up a shirt and held it to her body, checking her reflection before tossing the shirt over her shoulder and searching again. “I’m dying in here,” she continued. She felt claustrophobic; like the walls were closing in on her and she needed to run away, breathe in fresh air; she needed to get out.

As if feeling genuinely trapped, she took in a stuttered breath. The more she thought about it, the more caged in she felt. Spotting blue sky, she ran to the balcony, throwing open the French doors. She gripped the railing tight as her upper half leaned over it, gasping in deep breaths. Her cheeks felt vaguely wet and Ruthie suddenly realized she was crying. Martin was marrying Sandy. They had a child together. They were going to be a family.

She let out a broken sob, turning around and crumpling to the floor, her back against the wrought iron. She had thought that she was getting better; that she was getting past this. But she wasn’t. She still loved Martin; loved him with everything that she had.

How could he do this to her?

She heard the click of the balcony doors open and buried her face in her knees, not wanting to face her roommate.

“Ruthie?” Amie asked. Apparently Rivkah had gotten back-up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing much,” she muttered into her knees. “The love of my life is marrying someone else. No big.”

There was an awkward silence as the other girls processed this. Then Ruthie felt a presence sit beside her on the ground. Peeking up, she saw Meilin. The girl gave her a tiny sympathetic smile and laid a hand on Ruthie’s foot, doing nothing else. Then, on Ruthie’s other side, was another presence. Turning her head, she saw Amie who also gave her a smile and placed a comforting hand on Ruthie’s elbow. Ruthie gave a wobbly smile at each of the girls. The last person still stood in front of the girls and was soon the focus of the three. None of the girls knew what Rivkah would do. Even she wasn’t heartless enough to be a bitch right now, but she wasn’t exactly the comforting type.

True to form, she shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny and the warm ‘feels’ going on. Finally, she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Screw this shit, let’s get drunk,” she said decisively, cocking an expectant eyebrow.

The other three blinked at her in surprise. Amie and Meilin looked at Ruthie in askance. Ruthie had planned on going out, looking amazing and finding some extremely attractive guy to flirt with to try and make herself forget all about Martin Brewer.

But there was no reason why she had to be sober while she did this.

“Yeah.” She nodded, getting up. “Yeah, let’s get drunk!” she enthused, getting into the idea. “Let’s get dressed up, look super hot and just go out and have some fun.”

“Maybe break a few boys’ hearts,” Amie added coyly.

“More than a few,” Rivkah scoffed.

Meilin giggled. She was the shiest of them, but even she looked excited at the prospect of a girls night out. The four made their way back inside, splitting up to find some clothes. Once again, Ruthie was stuck looking inside her closet with nothing to wear.

“You dress like a nun,” Rivkah pointed out helpfully.

“I do not,” Ruthie replied in annoyance crossing her arms, but Rivkah just raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Fine. You dress like a preacher’s daughter,” the blonde corrected with a smirk. Ruthie huffed but could hardly deny it seeing as how she was a preacher’s daughter.

“So what do you suggest?” Ruthie asked with a frown. She and Rivkah got along a lot better now than they did when Ruthie first moved in, but they still weren’t exactly best friends. Actually, she would barely even call them friends.

Rivkah looked surprised that Ruthie would ask her opinion. She took a second look at the brunette’s closet, humming as she thumbed through the racks. Spotting something stuffed in the back, she reached in and pulled a sporty cotton tee with the number 22 on it. “How attached are you to this shirt?” she wondered.

Ruthie looked at her in complete confusion. This wasn’t exactly the kind of shirt a girl would wear on a night out. “Not very,” she answered.

Rivkah gave her a smirk and pulled out a tight pair of jeans. “Give me five minutes,” she said, laying the shirt out on her desk. She grabbed a pair of scissors and, before Ruthie’s eyes, began cutting into the shirt.

“What are you doing?” Ruthie asked in surprise.

“Give me five minutes,” the blonde repeated, concentrating on her work. “Change into those pants,” she said, waving at the jeans she had pulled a second ago.

Ruthie did as told, keeping a cautious eye on Rivkah. Amie and Meilin walked back into the room. Meilin wore gold sandals, black pants and a shimmering gold top that hung off her shoulders and showed off her beautiful silken skin. Amie wore a tight purple mini dress and black high heel pumps.

“What’s going on?” Amie asked.

Before Ruthie could answer, Rivkah stood up and handed Ruthie the improved top. There were now cuts along the front stomach area, the back, the sides and down the short sleeves. “Put this on,” she demanded. Ruthie made to get another top to put underneath it, but the blonde stopped her. “No. Just this.” Hesitantly, Ruthie took off her shirt and replaced it with the ripped one. It was a bit loose and the tears showcased a lot of bronze skin, but were placed nowhere near anything that might show inappropriately, the 22 on her chest untouched. Ruthie blinked at her reflection in surprise. She looked sort of sporty, but in a hot way.

“Now, you just need shoes,” Amie muttered thoughtfully. “Actually, I have a pair…” She trailed off as she disappeared back into her dorm room. She and Ruthie had found out that they were close in size and that included the size of their feet. The petite blonde came back with a pair of black thick heeled boots with laces down the front, giving it a military style feel, which Ruthie put on. “You look cute in those. You should keep them,” Amie offered. While this occurred, Rivkah had changed into the clothes she had selected before Ruthie’s clothing dilemma distracted her. She wore a short jean skirt and a black one shoulder top with black velvet wedge booties.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” the blonde said once she was finished, the girls heading out the door. Rivkah led the way to her favorite club. Rivkah herded them down the back and rapped at the back entrance. Meilin and Ruthie shared uncomfortable looks, but Amie was relaxed, having been there with Rivkah before.

A girl a few years older than them opened the door with a grin, letting them in. “Guys, this is Lexy. She graduated TSA a couple of years ago,” Rivakh introduced before leading the teens through the staff area and into the main nightclub. The lights were flashing in time with the pulsing House beat, blinding the girls until they could barely see. Rivkah grabbed Amie’s hand and led her upstairs, Meilin and Ruthie having no choice but to follow. Up on the second floor, there were lounge chairs paired together for small groups of friends. The girls claimed a corner and looked over the side, down at the dance floor. Soon, a waitress came up to them asking for their orders.

Taking the lead, Rivkah ordered martinis and a small appetizer to help soak up the alcohol as they went along.

“So tell us about this boy,” Amie demanded once they had everything.

Ruthie froze, a frown crossing her face at the reminder of why they were there.

“Nice one, babe.” Rivkah snickered. Even she knew that was a bad move and she was the least emotionally conscientious of the four.

Amie looked stricken so Ruthie sent her a wane smile. “It’s fine, I’m not upset. I just… don’t want to talk about it.” She took a sip of her drink, her nose scrunching slightly at her first alcoholic drink. It was… She took another sip. Definitely something to get used to.

“Okay, this is awkward,” Rivkah announced, breaking the tension. “Let’s go dance." She stood up and left, leaving the others no choice but to follow her. Once they were on the crowded dance floor, it was easy to lose themselves in the beat. The four kept within eyesight of each other, Rivkah and Amie dancing with each other, Meilin dancing alone for the most part, while Ruthie danced with every cute guy that looked her way. After long spurts of dancing, they would return to their seats to drink some more and nibble on appetizers to soak up their alcohol. Between their Slayer metabolism, the food, and the long periods of dancing in between drinks, the four girls were only on the light side of tipsy. At some point Amie and Rivkah abandoned the dance floor in favor of making out at their seats, leaving Meilin and Ruthie to fend for themselves.

“They make such a cute couple,” Ruthie murmured thoughtfully, swaying with Meilin to a slow song. It was late and even with their stamina, they were tired.

Meilin smiled, nodding. “Remember when Rivkah thought you had a thing for Amie?”

Ruthie let out a huff of laughter. She had only been at TSA a couple of weeks before, fed up with Rivkah’s hostility, she confronted the older girl. The two had a huge blow out in their living room but had managed to get everything resolved. It had turned out that Rivkah had thought that Ruthie’s friendliness with Amie was in actuality flirting. Ruthie quickly corrected the blonde before wondering in confusion why Rivkah would care if Ruthie was flirting. The brunette blushed bright red when she found out the Amie and Rivkah were dating. Suddenly, all the time those two spent in Amie’s dorm room ‘studying’ made sense. Ruthie and Rivkah got along a lot better after that, which was not to say that they were suddenly best friends… Mostly because the idea of Rivkah being friendly made a shiver of fear go down Ruthie’s spine. The only time Rivkah was nice was when she was up to no good.

Ruthie was startled out of her thoughts by a hand tapping her on her shoulder. She turned her head away from Meilin to face the stranger. “Hey,” a cute boy a few years older than her said with a grin. He had light blond hair tousled messily and warm brown eyes. His English accent made Ruthie’s stomach turn to mush. Despite living in London for six months now, a cute boy with an English accent was still enough to do her in every single time. “Can I interrupt?” the boy asked.

The brunette blinked looking at Meilin who looked back at her uncertainly. “Which one of us?” Meilin wondered, turning back to the boy.

The blond gave a laugh. “Sorry, I meant you,” he said looking at Ruthie. “I’d like to dance with you.”

Ruthie gave a smile, glancing at Meilin out of the corner of her eye. The other girl nodded in agreement, a smile on her lips as well. Ruthie let go of the Asian and turned to face the boy, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and allowing him to wraps his around her waist. “My name is Ruthie,” she introduced.

“Rhys,” he replied with a smirk. “You’re American?” he wondered. She nodded. “Are you here on vacation?” he asked.  
She shook her head. “Boarding school.”

He grinned wider. “Ah.” He nodded in understanding. “Me too,” he leaned in with a whisper, like it was some sort of secret. “My family’s from Wales. Don’t tell any Brits.”

Ruthie giggled. She hadn’t been here long but even she knew about the British’s opinion on the Welsh, and vice versa really. “Your secret’s safe with me,” she promised with an amused grin. For the first time that night, she forgot all about Martin. She even forgot all about being a Slayer. Standing there, dancing with Rhys, she felt like a normal girl with no problems in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

“So how are things going with Rhys?” Meilin wondered with a small smile. She was sitting on Ruthie’s bed, back against the wall, seemingly studying a textbook for her finals, but in actuality, she was watching Ruthie from the corner of her eye.

The brunette was in her wardrobe, looking through her clothes, trying to figure out what to wear. Tonight was going to be her sixth official date with Rhys and she wanted to wear something really nice since it was also their one month anniversary. She didn’t know where they were going, only that she should ‘wear a nice dress’. She scrunched her nose as she took in her clothes. “I need to go shopping,” she muttered. Almost all of her clothes were the ones that she brought with her from home, mixed with the occasional new piece that she bought or the occasional cast-off/swap with her friends.

After that night in the club, she had begged Rivkah to redo her entire wardrobe similar to the way she had ‘repurposed’ that shirt. Rivkah refused, stating it would be a waste of time, but she did teach Ruthie how to do it herself. Ruthie found that she loved the cut up style and now wore it all the time. It allowed her to save money on buying new clothes and it didn’t hurt that it made Ruthie smile every time she pictured her mother’s horrified face. But still… “I really need to go shopping,” the brunette repeated.

Meilin rolled her eyes. “We’ll go tomorrow,” she promised since the next day would be a weekend. “But I  _ said, _ how are things with you and Rhys?”

Ruthie gave the taller girl a smile. “I heard you. I just don’t know how to answer.” Meilin gave the girl a look that essentially said ‘elaborate’. “I like him. He’s super cute and nice and he makes me feel…” She trailed off in thought at how to explain. “Special,” she finally settled on.

“But?” Meilin prompted, knowing there had to be more.

Ruthie frowned instantly, her eyes guiltily going to the photo on her bookshelf that she couldn’t bring herself to put away. With a sigh, she reached over, plucking the center picture. “You can’t tell anyone,” she said, climbing onto the bed and sitting cross-legged facing the other girl. Seeing Meilin nod, she reached out to show her the photo. “This is Martin,” she confided.

Meilin cocked an eyebrow. She had a steady boyfriend back home but even she could admit, “Wow.”

Ruthie smiled. “I know right.” The two girls giggled over the attractive man. “He lived at my house; my parents sort of pseudo-adopted him. And I fell in love with him. But I guess he never really saw me that way.” Ruthie’s smile was replaced with a frown as her mind wandered to the past. “I thought maybe I could make him see me like that, but…” She trailed off. “He met this girl, Sandy. He didn’t even know her, but he slept with her and well, got her pregnant.”

Meilin’s eyebrows jumped in surprise, but she said nothing, allowing her friend to continue.

“It was horrible,” Ruthie confided in a whisper. “I hated him so much, but I still loved him too and I know we were never anything, that I was never anything to him, but it was like he stabbed me in the back. I love him so much.” Now, tears were falling from Ruthie’s eyes. Meilin reached out and pulled the other girl into her side, giving the petite girl a huge hug. “This was around the time I found out about my Calling. When Willow offered me a chance to get away, I took it.” Ruthie’s lower lip began to tremble as tears threatened to turn into heartbreaking sobs. “But now he’s proposed to her,” she cried before the sobs took over, wracking her body. Meilin winced on behalf of her friend and pulled her in closer, clutching at her tighter, trying to be as comforting as she could.

Several minutes later, Ruthie wasn’t sure how long, she pulled away from her friend, staring at the comforter instead of meeting the other girl’s eyes. “Sorry for sobbing all over you.”

Meilin frowned. “It’s okay,” she assured, but Ruthie still wouldn’t look at her. Instead the girl got up, making her way to the mirror inside of her wardrobe.

“Look at me,” she muttered, wiping away at the lingering tears in her eyes. “I look a mess.”

Meilin got off the bed, sweeping the girl’s curly hair off her shoulders and onto her back. “I’ll help you with your make up,” she promised. “But, Ruthie…” She hesitated, unsure if she should say this. “It seems like you’re still really in love with the Martin guy. Are you sure you want to keep going out with Rhys?”

Ruthie shrugged. “I love Martin, but… I live in England and he lives back home and even if I didn’t, he doesn’t see me like that. He has a son and soon he’ll have a wife and I’ll just be… some girl that he used to know.” Her eyes were so sad when she said this, clearly she had given up and accepted the heartbreak. “Rhys is nice and he makes me feel good.”

“Special,” Meilin said, repeating what Ruthie had said earlier.

The brunette nodded, turning back to her closet and finally selecting a little black dress that she had stashed in the corner. She had never worn it; had bought it because she knew how good she looked in it and had hoped one day to wear it on a date with Martin. But that would never happen and now was as good a time as any to break it out. “I can’t keep wallowing in what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with. I need to live my own life too and that means moving on from Martin Brewer.” With her new found resolution, Ruthie reached out, plucking the picture frame from the bed and stuffed it into the back of her closet. Turning back to Meilin, there was a fierce look of resolution in her eyes. “You said you’d help me with my makeup?”

Meilin nodded as Ruthie gathered her stuff and went to their shared en suite bathroom to take a quick shower. Getting out of the bath, she blow dried her hair and immediately began straightening it with a flat iron, knowing how much Rhys liked her hair straight. Finished, she put her dress on and returned to her side of the dorm room where Meilin waited, makeup bag ready. Meilin smiled and gestured for Ruthie to sit at her desk while the Asian worked. In the end, Ruthie looked like a bronze goddess. Having bronze skin herself, Meilin knew all the good makeup tricks and had taught Ruthie them as well.

“Now I just need shoes,” Ruthie muttered, checking how much time she had left before Rhys came to pick her up. She brought out two sets of black shoes. One was a pair of cute cloth flats, the other were daring stilettos.

Meilin smiled. “Do you want to be comfortable or do you want to wow him?” she asked, suspecting the answer.

Ruthie didn’t know what Rhys’ plans were or if they involved any walking at all, but she knew that she would have to take that risk. She threw the flats back into the closet and donned the heels. Grabbing a small black clutch that had a thin black chain, she put it on her shoulder, the purse knocking into her hip.

“I almost regret swapping that with you,” Meilin admitted, taking in the full picture.

“You love my green bracelet,” Ruthie countered with a smile.

“Mine now,” she corrected. “You look amazing,” Meilin complimented as the two walked out of the room and through the living room. “You’re gonna knock him out.”

“Kinda the plan,” Ruthie admitted with a conspiratorial grin. She gave the girl a quick hug and was out the door, making her way downstairs to wait for her boyfriend. She didn’t have to wait long, a familiar silver car pulling up front. Exiting the building, she made her way to the car, climbing into the passenger’s seat. She leaned over for a quick peck.

“You look great.” Rhys grinned, scanning her body.

Ruthie blushed lightly. “Thanks. You look good too.” Despite it only being a month, she had never been in a relationship as serious as this one, or at least as adult. Rhys had a way of making her feel like she wasn’t just a teenager, but instead, all grown up. He was older than her by over a year, had his own car, lived away from home (like her) and was extremely wealthy to boot. With no parents or annoying siblings or an entire town watching their every move, it was as if they were adults, just living their life, doing what they wanted.

It was a heady feeling.

“Where are we going?” she wondered, a smile on her face.

He gave her a wink but stayed silent, just driving. She turned to face out the window, watching the scenery pass her by. It was hard to believe she had been living in London for half a year and that the end of the school year was right around the corner. Meilin, as the oldest at 18, was graduating. All four girls had signed up for one last trip together this summer, heading to Africa for two months. Meilin could still attend volunteer trips after graduation, but as she went home, inevitably got a job and got busy, it was less likely that she would be able to make the trips that the other three would be going on in the future. Africa was one last hoorah for the group.

“We’re here,” Rhys announced, pulling in front of a swanky hotel. He climbed out of the vehicle as a staff worker pulled open Ruthie’s door for her. She stepped out, watching Rhys give his keys to the valet and then take her hand, leading her inside and to the restaurant. Looking around, it was easy to see that the restaurant was just as high end as the hotel it was inside of.

The hostess led them to a table under one of the many brightly lit chandeliers. Taking a inconspicuous look around, she noticed that they were the youngest couple. The next youngest were a couple of young professionals in suits at the bar in their mid twenties, sipping on cocktails and chatting. She shifted a little self-consciously, glad that she had chosen such a sophisticated dress and high heels.

Opening the menu, Ruthie cocked a brow at the French. She was glad that she took French as one of her many language requirements at TSA, more so glad that she had taken that back in California too, so she was pretty passable at the language.

“Escargot?” Rhys asked teasingly.

“You first.” She smiled back.

He chuckled, turning back to his menu. “It’s not bad when they’re just sautéed in a simple butter sauce,” he admitted, chuckling at her barely hidden wince of distaste. “Alright, what would you suggest starting us out with?” he asked, just as the waiter came up to take their order.

Ruthie stared at him for a minute before nibbling on her lip. She wasn’t typically one to back down from a challenge. “Escargots à la Bourguignonne,” she ordered. Rhys gave her a surprised, amused look but waited until the waiter left before giving her a ‘what the heck?’ expression. Unable to continue keeping it in, Ruthie burst into giggles, Rhys soon joining her in laughter.

When the waiter came back with a small dish of snails, Ruthie began regretting her ballsy decision. As if sensing this, Rhys gave her a wicked smirk. “After you.” She gave him a glare but reached out and took a small spoonful and put it on her plate, taking a spoon of the garlic butter sauce as well. Rhys did the same, but kept a careful eye on her face as she hesitantly brought a spoon to her mouth. She took a second to notice the taste before chewing and swallowing. She made sure to keep her face completely blank, not wanting to give Rhys the satisfaction.

“Well?” he asked after a moment.

“It was… adequate,” she replied, taking a sip of water.

“You absolutely hated it,” he said, reading between the lines with a grin.

“Oh my god, yes,” she finally confessed, letting out a breath. It had taken all of her focus not to make a disgusted face the entire time. “I guess the taste wasn’t, like, horrendous, but just the idea of eating snails.” She shivered.

He gave a chuckle. “Well, I guess that just means more for me.”

~

“This was really nice,” Ruthie said with a smile, squeezing the hand in hers as the exited the restaurant. “I had a really good time.”

The blond gave her a smirk. “Who said it was over?” he asked, bringing her the opposite direction of the exit and deeper into the hotel. He brought her to an elevator and they went upstairs. Ruthie began to nibble on her lower lip nervously. Was he bringing her to a hotel room? Why would they be going there unless…

Sure enough, they stepped out into a hall of rooms and Rhys brought out a room card. Entering, Ruthie noticed that he had pulled out all the stops. There were chocolate covered strawberries, champagne and a trail of rose petals towards the bedroom. “Wow,” she murmured. She had never been wooed like this before.

“Do you like it?” Rhys wondered, shrugging out of his suit jacket and loosening his tie.

Ruthie didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. This wasn’t what she had expected, but maybe she should have. They had been together for a month now and he didn’t know of her family’s issues with pre-marital sex, so wasn’t it reasonable for him to expect after several weeks of dating for things to go further? 

She had said it before; this was an adult relationship. She should behave like an adult.

The thought instilled confidence and, whirling around, she backed a surprised Rhys against the door and enthusiastically attacked him with her mouth. He automatically brought his hands up to her back, playing with the zipper to her dress, but not going further until Ruthie first began undoing each button on his shirt. It didn’t take them long to head things into the bedroom.

~

Ruthie waved Rhys off, watching for a moment as his car sped away, before turning and heading inside the dorms. She bit her lower lip, a smile on her face. Last night had been… It wasn’t what she expected, but it had been nice. Really nice.

With a frown, she wondered if this was how it had been for Martin.

Immediately, she tried to shake off that line of thought. She had a really good time with a guy she really liked. They had been together a month, they were serious about each other and committed to one another. Why should Martin Brewer matter at all?

Ruthie gave a huff, knocking her head back against the elevator wall. Martin mattered to her. She had always thought that… if she was going to do something like this, break her family’s beliefs, then it would be with the man she loved; the man she wanted to spend forever with. And even now, if Ruthie closed her eyes and pictured her wedding, pictured settling down and having a family, the man beside her was always the same.

Slipping into her dorm room, Ruthie dropped her purse onto her bed. She wanted to collapse onto it and go to sleep, but hesitated at her wardrobe. Slowly, she reached in and pulled out the familiar picture of her and Martin at the baseball field. She ran her finger along the edge of the frame, looking at it contemplatively before setting it back on her bookshelf where it belonged.

~

Ruthie let out a huff of air as Rivkah got a good shot to her stomach in. Instantly, Ruthie swung out, catching the blonde in her side, knocking her back. Taking advantage of that momentum, Ruthie followed her, giving a sharp kick followed by another punch, knocking Rivkah flat on her back. Amie hooted and hollered by the side of the boxing ring. Rivkah shot her girlfriend an annoyed look, accepting Ruthie’s help up from the ground. The two climbed out of the ring, unwrapped their fists and took out their mouth guards.

“Good fight.” Ruthie grinned.

Rivkah gave a grudging grunt back, sitting on the bench to catch her breath.

Ruthie was about to say something more when she felt a familiar hand on the small of her back. Turning her head, she smiled shyly up at her boyfriend. “Rhys,” she greeted, “what are you doing here?”

“Just came to see you. One of the other TSA girls told me you were here,” he explained. “I didn’t know you could fight.”

Rivkah and Amie let out simultaneous laughs. “Fight? Ruthie just won the international TSA fighting championships last month in Brussels! She won the opportunity to live in New York with three friends for six months!” Amie grinned widely, clearly proud of her friend. “First student winner, too. Usually it’s one of the graduates who win. But she and Rivkah made it all the way to the final rounds and then Ruthie won! It was amazing!”

Ruthie blushed under the praise, but she was still pretty excited herself. It was hard to believe, but she had fought against last year’s champ, a tall, lithe girl from Vietnam who graduated four years ago, and had actually managed to beat her. Because of that, she had also somehow managed to be the most popular girl at school which was a new feeling to Ruthie, having previously never been a ‘popular girl’. Now, she, Rivkah and Amie were constantly followed around by other girls wanting to hang out or talk about the fight or get pointers. Ruthie just wished that Meilin could have been there to enjoy the popularity as well, but the brunette was back home in China, having graduated last year. They had all seen each other in Brussels, all four girls having signed up to compete. Ruthie was pretty sure that Meilin had only signed up for the free excuse to visit her friends, but as a lean and quick fighter, had made it pretty far despite not having any particular interest in the competition. Meilin was a good fighter, as all slayers were, but she didn’t really enjoy fighting beyond what was required of her by her Calling.

“Wow,” Rhys said, drawing Ruthie back to the present. “That sounds impressive.” There was something weird in his voice, however, and Ruthie shifted self-consciously. As slayers, TSA was understandably focused on fighting and weapons training… Things that normal teenage girls didn’t know about. It made sense that Rhys found it weird for Ruthie to be so interested in martial arts, let alone have the ability to win an international competition.

“Let me grab a quick shower and change,” Ruthie said, changing the topic as she and Rhys walked a bit away from the others. “And then we can go do something.”

“Six months, huh?” Rhys wondered, a frown on his lips.

“It’s not until January. That’s almost three full months away.”

“So, you’re saying that you don’t think we’ll be together three months from now?”

“That’s not what I said at all!” Ruthie frowned. “Rhys…”

“Nevermind, forget about it. I gotta go,” Rhys ran a hand through his hair causing Ruthie to frown harder.

“You just got here.”

“Yeah, I know, I gotta… go.” Rhys didn’t even bother coming up with an excuse, he just turned around and left.

Amie and Rivkah frowned as they came up behind the petite brunette. “What was that about?” Amie wondered.

“I don’t even know. I guess finding out that I’d be gone for six months really upset him?”

“Wait, you didn’t tell him when you won?” Amie wondered in surprise.

Ruthie shrugged defensively. “I didn’t really know how to bring it up. I was going to tell him eventually. I was!” she protested at Amie’s skeptical glance.

Rivkah hummed noncommittally. “Well, it’s obviously too late for that.”

Ruthie just frowned in the direction Rhys had stalked off in.

~

“You said 6 o’clock, I heard you,” Ruthie cried, tears in her eyes as she clutched her phone tightly to her ear.

“No, I said 8,” Rhys replied back. “I know what I said, I was there.”

“So was I!” she yelled back before flushing and looking around. Already she felt embarrassed to be standing around, alone, at the restaurant, waiting for her boyfriend to meet her.

“Look, I’m tired of fighting about this. Sorry you got things mixed up. Maybe we just won’t go out tonight.”

“But I’m already dressed up,” Ruthie replied in a small voice.

“We’ll go out another time,” Rhys replied. “I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

“Rhys?” Ruthie heard the dial tone and hung up the phone. Tears in her eyes, she slowly made her way back to the dorms.

“Ruthie? I didn’t think you’d be back until tomorrow. What’s wrong?” Amie asked.

Ruthie hastily wiped away the evidence of tears off her cheeks. “Nothing. Just a little mix up. Rhys couldn’t make it.”

Amie looked at her in concern and Ruthie could tell that she didn’t buy the casual act. “That’s the third date this month.”

“Is it?” Ruthie tried to put on a blase tone, but knew she was failing miserably. A look from Amie was all it took to break her defenses. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why doesn’t he like me anymore?”

Amie let out a distressed sound as she gathered Ruthie into her arms. “Oh, sweetie. I’m sure it’s not like that. Tell me everything.”

So, Ruthie did, listing the dates Rhys straight up forgot, the ones where he’d change the times, the way they argued, on and on, the list of grievances went until finally Ruthie finished, completely wrung out. At some point, Rivkah had returned to their room and was listening patiently by the door.

“I had no idea,” Amie murmured, gently petting Ruthie hair as the brunette lay curled up, her head in the other girl’s lap. “I thought things were going so well with you two.”

“I did, too, but suddenly he went all distant. Sometimes, things are great, but sometimes, it’s like he’s a different person. I don’t understand.”

“I do,” Rivkah said, gaining their attention. “It sounds like emotional abuse.”

“What? No.” Ruthie protested, sitting up.

“Google the signs of emotional abuse. You just listed them. Obviously, for whatever reason, he wants to feel power over you. He wants you to feel small and this is how he’s going about it.”

“You’re wrong,” Ruthie replied, even as Amie was already googling.

“When did this start?” Rivkah asked. “Because my money? Is that it started after you won the international fighting championships. Guys like that need to be in charge, need to be macho men. The idea of a girl fighting and kicking ass would be too big a blow to their ego for them to handle.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Ruthie repeated, but this time her voice was smaller. Rhys had started acting weird after the competition. “He loves me.”

This time, Amie was the one to speak up. “If he loved you, we would never hurt you on purpose. Rivkah was right; I just looked it up and, Ruthie, everything you just told me is listed on here. Please, let us help you.”

Ruthie looked helplessly from the cellphone where she could see several things listed that she knew applied to her, to her two best friends, each looking at her with worry and a hint of fear in their eyes. She still didn’t think this was right, but if both of her friends were this concerned about her, she needed to listen.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make no promises with the future of this fic. That being said, I actually had most of this chapter written and a few more, but they all had bits and pieces missing. This was the hardest chapter to write due to Rhys and his behavior and I didn't really know how to tackle it. The other chapters are almost entirely finished but after that, as I said, I make no promises. I might just upload my notes and the future scenes I've already written and call it done. I'm not sure yet. We'll see how things go.


End file.
